


GRAB THEM BY THE DICK

by heyheyjessica



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, I live for them, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Swearing, Texting, bobby is whipped, chat fic, donghyuk is very small and cute, hanbin is obsessed with yunhyeongs legs, junhoe thinks he's straight, they gay as shit tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-02-28 18:17:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13277175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyheyjessica/pseuds/heyheyjessica
Summary: b to the i: againb to the i: i dont have a kink for his legsflappy skin: fuck offflappy skin: you get hard whenever you see yunhyeongs fucking kneecapsb to the i: excuse me??????b to the i: his kneecaps are very beautifuljinani: you fucking disgust meIn which Junhoe is awkward with Bobby, Hanbin loves Yunhyeong’s legs maybe a bit too much, Jinhwan is done with everyone (except Chanwoo) and Donghyuck is a ball of sunshine.





	1. junhoe gets some dick

 

**[GROUP CHAT: HANBIN STOP DROOLING]**

members:   
****

jinhwan as _jinani_

hanbin as _b to the i_

junhoe as _flappy skin_

donghyuk as _cutie pie_

 

**jinani:** hanbin

**jinani:** stop drooling 

 

**b to the i:** i’m not drooling

 

**flappy skin:** wipe that drool off your face hoe

 

**b to the i:** let me ufcking reapet i was not droling

 

**jinani:** let me guess

**jinani:** you got distracted by yun’s legs again??

 

**flappy skin:** and why do you always fucking look man

**flappy skin:** it aint that fucking special

 

**b to the i:** i was not(!!!!!) fucking distracted okay

**b to the i:** and junhoe

**b to the i:** yunhyeongs legs are shitting me majestic 

**b to the i:** dont talk shit about it

**b to the i:** or i will woop your ass back to korea

 

**flappy skin:** wow

 

**cutie pie:** hanbin you’re so whipped!~~~

**cutie pie:** so cute!!! ( ≧ ∇ ≦ *)

 

**jinani:** dongie you’re so cute :)))

 

**cutie pie:** no i’m not !!!  （＞ μ ＜＃）

 

**flappy skin:** you are adorable

 

**b to the i:** super adorable

 

**cutie pie:** im not!!! (*^.^*)(*^.^*)

 

**jinani:** but we’re not talking about how cute donghyuk is

**jinani:** we were talking about hanbins kink for yunhyeong’s legs

 

**b to the i:** again

**b to the i:** i dont have a kink for his legs

 

**flappy skin:** fuck off

**flappy skin:** you get hard whenever you see yunhyeongs fucking kneecaps

 

**b to the i:** excuse me??????

**b to the i:** his kneecaps are very beautiful

 

**jinani:** you fucking disgust me

 

**b to the i:** nownow that’s not very nice

 

**flappy skin:** its true tho

**flappy skin:** you are disgusting

 

**b to the i:** wow

**b to the i:** i feel the love

 

**flappy skin:** dont 

**flappy skin:** we dont love you

 

**b to the i:** :(

 

**cutie pie:** hyung i still love you!!

**cutie pie:** (•ө•) **♡**

 

**b to the i:** :)

 

**jinani:** you

**jinani:** fucking

**jinani:** disgust 

**jinani:** me

 

**b to the i:** :(

______________________________________

 

**[GROUP CHAT: GRAB THEM BY THE DICK]**

members:   
****

jinhwan as _i’m small but that d aint_

yunhyeong as _LEGS FOR DAAAAYS_

bobby as _junhoes #1 fan_

hanbin as _b.i is bi_

donghyuk as _sunshine ball_

junhoe as _junHOE_

chanwoo as _touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you_

 

**junHOE:** hi sluts

**junHOE:** i need help

 

**junhoes #1 fan:** hi i can help :))

 

**junHOE:** …

**junHOE:** hi hyung…

**junHOE:** you know what im good

 

**junhoes #1 fan:** :(((

**junhoes #1 fan:** are you sure? :))

 

**junHOE:** yep..

**junHOE:** im peachy hahah

**junHOE:** yep totallly fine yepyep 

 

**junhoe #1 fan:** okay :)

 

______________________________________

 

**[GROUP CHAT: HANBIN STOP DROOLING]**

members: 

jinhwan as _jinani_

hanbin as _b to the i_

junhoe as _flappy skin_

donghyuk as _cutie pie_

 

 

**jinani:** fucking smooth bitch

 

**flappy skin:** I FUFGKING PANICHKED

**flappy skin:** ASDFGHJKL

 

**b to the i:** you’re pathetic

 

**flappy skin:** HOE

**flappy skin:** U DONT GETTO FUCKIDS JUDHE ME

**flappy skin:** U SLUT FOR YUNS LEGS LIKE ARABBIT IN HEAT U BITCH

 

**b to the i:** at least i dont panic whenever my crush talks to me ¯\\_( ツ )_/¯ 

 

**jinani:** you fucking sure?

 

**flappy skin:** stop lying hoe

 

**cutie pie:** hanbin lying is not good!!

**cutie pie:** ｡ ^‿^ ｡

 

**jinani:** junhoe why do you always fucking panic when bobby talks to you

 

**b to the i:** they are shitting me awkward with each other

**b to the i:** they both like each other but they won’t admit it

 

**flappy skin:** I DONT LIKE HIM!!!!!!!!

**flappy skin:** HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO REPEAT IT

 

**jinani:** until you admit that you like him shithead

 

**b to the i:** ^

 

**cutie pie:** ^  （＾ｖ＾）（＾ｖ＾）

 

**flappy skin:** im straight remember!!!!!

 

**jinani:** …

**jinani:** you make me want to blast my head off 

 

**_jinani_ ** _left the groupchat_

 

**b to the i:** just to let you know

**b to the i:** im very disappointed bitch

 

**_b to the i_ ** _left the groupchat_

 

**flappy skin:** not you too donghyuk

 

**cutie pie:** i’m sorry ● ︿ ●

 

**_cutie pie_ ** _left the groupchat_

 

**flappy skin:** fuck you

______________________________________

 

**[GROUPCHAT: JUNBOB IS LIFE]**

members:

yunhyeong as _neat freak_

bobby as _small bp_

chanwoo as _maknae on top_

 

**small bp:** GUYS JUNHOE TALKED TO ME

**small bp:** IM

**small bp:** WJRJOPFAOSJDE

 

**neat freak:** yes!!!!!

**neat freak:** go bobby!!!!!

 

**maknae on top:** are you guys fucking serious?

 

**neat freak:** they are very adorable yes!!!

 

**small bp:** CHANWOEOOOE

**small bp:** DIDNT USEE THE QUALITYCONVER SATION WE JSUT HAD

 

**maknae on top:** he literally panicked and avoided the conversation

 

**small bp:** no thats not true we had a quality conversation

 

**maknae on top:** im so done with you guys

 

**neat freak:** im so happy for you!!!! 

**neat freak:** you guys would be adorable :)

 

**small bp:** YESYESSYES

**small bp:** WE WOULD HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL KIDS DONT YOU THINK

 

**neat freak:** YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**maknae on top:** you guys are hopeless

______________________________________

 

**[GROUP CHAT: GRAB THEM BY THE DICK]**

members:

jinhwan as _i’m small but that d aint_

yunhyeong as _LEGS FOR DAAAAYS_

bobby as _junhoes #1 fan_

hanbin as _b.i is bi_

donghyuk as _sunshine ball_

junhoe as _junHOE_

chanwoo as _touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you_

 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** but junhoe

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** why did you need the help

 

**b.i is bi:** awh yunhyeong

**b.i is bi:** you are so caring :))

 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** :)))

 

**i’m small but that d aint:** fucking stop before i throw up

**i’m small but that d aint:** why did you need help hoe

 

**junHOE:** sluts

**junHOE:** fukcing i got set up on a blind date

 

**sunshine ball:** what!!!!!!

**sunshine ball:** no way!!!!! ( ゜ Д ゜ ;)

 

**i’m small but that d aint:** you finally gonna get laid 

**i’m small but that d aint:** be happy that i set you up

 

**touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you:** hoe what

 

**b.i is bi:** bitch wat

 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** jinhwan you did 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** wat 

 

**sunshine ball:** jinhwan hyung!!!!!! 

 

**i’m small but that d aint:** what??

**i’m small but that d aint:** he needs some dick in his ass

 

**junHOE:** you set me up with a GUY??

 

**i’m small but that d aint:** ¯\\_( ツ )_/¯

 

**b.i is bi:** omg

**touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you:** omg

 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** omg

 

**sunshine ball:** omg!!!!

 

**junhoes #1 fan:** what 

 

**i’m small but that d aint:** dont be sad bobby

**i’m small but that d aint:** he just needs to realise how good dick is

 

**junhoes #1 fan:** what 

 

**junHOE:** im straight!!!!

 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** you’re not

 

**i’m small but that d aint:** STOP LYING TO ME SHITFACE

**i’m small but that d aint:** GO ON THIS FUCKIDFN DATE 

**i’m small but that d aint:** GET SOME FUCKIGNEF COKC IN YOU RMOUTH

**i’m small but that d aint:** AND IF U SAY YOURE A FUICKIGN STRAIGHT DUDE AFTER THIS FINE

 

**touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you:** omg

 

**b.i is bi:** omg

 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** omg 

 

**sunshine ball:** omg!!!

 

**junhoes #1 fan:** jinhwan no

**junhoes #1 fan:** you dont have to go if you dont feel comfortable :))

 

**junHOE:** YOU KNOW WHAT BITCH

**junHOE:** i WILL GO EON THIS FUCKIGN DATE

**junHOE:** AND I WILL SHOWU THAT IM DSRAIGHT HOE

 

**b.i is bi:** yall this shit is crazy

**b.i is bi:** i fucking love this 

 

**touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you:** YES BITCH GET THAT DICK

**touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you:** LIVE THAT HOELIFE

 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

 

**junHOE:** i hate y’all 


	2. rip junhoes blood circulation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> junhoes #1 fan: the things you do for dick is crazy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter guys!! (pretty shit but you have to deal with it)

**[GROUPCHAT: GRAB THEM BY THE DICK]**

 

members:

 

jinhwan as _i’m small but that d aint_

yunhyeong as _LEGS FOR DAAAAYS_

bobby as _junhoes #1 fan_

hanbin as _b.i is bi_

donghyuk as _sunshine ball_

junhoe as _junHOE_

chanwoo as _touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you_

 

 

**i’m small but that d aint:** junhoe

**i’m small but that d aint:** did you see the pants i prepared for you

 

**junHOE:** you mean yunhyeongs extra skinny leather pants

**junHOE:** that will cut off my entire fucking blood circulation

**junHOE:** and will make me a bloody cripple when i try to sit down

**junHOE:** then fucking yes i saw it

 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** WAIT

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** IS THAT WHERE THEY WENT

 

**i’m small but that d aint:** shitfuck

**i’m small but that d aint:** i fucking mean did you try them on

 

**junHOE:** what part of “cut off my entire blood circulation and will make me a bloody cripple when i try to sit down” 

**junHOE:** did you not understand hoe

 

**i’m small but that d aint:** every single part of it asshole

**i’m small but that d aint:** if yunhyeongs ass fits in it yours will too

 

**junhoes #1 fan:** yunhyeong does have an incredible ass

 

**sunshine ball:** yesyes!!!

**sunshine ball:** hanbin stares at it all the time ( ᗒᗨᗕ )

 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** wat

 

**b.i is bi:** donghyuk wtf 

**b.i is bi:** why u gotta snitch man 

 

**touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you:** he has a juicy ass

 

**i’m small but that d aint:** chanwoo wtf

 

**touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you:** sorry babe 

**touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you:** it’s true ¯\\_( ツ )_/¯ 

**touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you:** but i’ll pick your ass over yunhyeongs

 

**i’m small but that d aint:** …

**i’m small but that d aint:** i’m going to finish this shit with junhoe and i’ll come over

 

**touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you:** my dick is ready

**touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you:** ;)

**junhoes #1 fan:** you guys disgust me

 

**b.i is bi:** someone give me holy water 

 

**junHOE:** why holy water

**junHOE:** GIvE Me tHE FucKIng bLEacH

 

**sunshine ball:** guysguys!!!

**sunshine ball:** i dont understand what is going on!!!

 

**junHOE:** so innocent 

**junHOE:** my heart is 

**junHOE:** s o f t

 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** JINHWAN AND CHANWOO ARE ADORABLE

 

**b.i is bi:** wat

**b.i is bi:** what do you mean

 

**junhoes #1 fan:** im huh

**junhoes #1 fan:** they are so fucking disgusting what 

 

**junHOE:** HOW

 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** i SUPPORT LOVE!!!!!!

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** YOU GUYS NEED TO SUPPORT LOVE!!!!!

 

 **sunshine ball:** i agree!!!!  ☆ =( ゝ ω ･ )/

 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** YOU HATERS NEED TO LOVE MORE 

 

**b.i is bi:** yES I AGREE

**b.i is bi:** THEY ARE ADORABLE!!!!!

 

**junHOE:** wat

 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** YES HANBIN!!!!!!!

 

**junhoes #1 fan:** the things you do for dick is crazy

 

______________________________________

 

**[GROUPCHAT: GRAB THEM BY THE DICK]**

 

members:

 

jinhwan as _i’m small but that d aint_

yunhyeong as _LEGS FOR DAAAAYS_

bobby as _junhoes #1 fan_

hanbin as _b.i is bi_

donghyuk as _sunshine ball_

junhoe as _junHOE_

chanwoo as _touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you_

 

**i’m small but that d aint:** junhoe are you ready for your date

 

**junHOE:** yeah im leaving rn

 

**LEGS FOR DAAAAYS:** have fun!!!!

 

 **sunshine ball:** have fun junhoe!!!  ☆ =( ゝ ω ･ )/

**touch jinhwan and i’ll kill you:** you go girl!

 

**i’m small but that d aint:** yes b u go get that d

 

**junHOE:** thanks guys :))

 

**b.i is bi:** you have memorised my number right!!

**b.i is bi:** call me if that guy is suspicious!!

 

**junHOE:** yes dad

 

**junhoes #1 fan:** are you sure you want to go?? 

**junhoes #1 fan:** its okay to stay home!!

 

**junHOE:** im fine dont worry 

 

**junhoes #1 fan:** you sure?? 

 

**junHOE:** yes

 

**junhoes #1 fan:** :((

 

______________________________________

 

**[PRIVATE CHAT: HANBIN - JINHWAN]**

 

**hanbin:** jinhwan

**hanbin:** what the fuck are you doing

 

**jinhwan** : ???

**jinhwan:** excuse me???

 

**hanbin:** dont fucking do this

**hanbin:** you know exactly what im talking about

**hanbin:** what the hell

 

**jinhwan:** i for once have no idea what you’re talking about 

 

**hanbin:** please explain why bobby came to my house crying 

**hanbin:** and why he is now watching running man while eating all of my ice cream

 

 **jinhwan:** why dont you ask him ¯\\_( ツ )_/¯ 

 

**hanbin:** kim jinhwan

 

**jinhwan:** rightright

**jinhwan:** like i might have 

**jinhwan:** possibly 

**jinhwan:** perchance 

**jinhwan:** perhaps 

**jinhwan:** probably 

 

**hanbin:** KIM JINHWAN

 

**jinhwan:** OKAY

**jinhwan:** um

**jinhwan:** i might have told bobby that junhoe is getting his dick sucked by his date…??

 

**hanbin:** …

**hanbin:** UDID HWAST 

 

**jinhwan:** I KNOW IM FUCKIN G SORRY

 

**hanbin:** IM LIKE WHY

**hanbin:** hOW DOU EVENKNW THAT

 

**jinhwan:** I dON tfU KIFNG KNOW OKAY 

**jinhwan:** BOBBY CALLEDME ANDI JUS T PANICKD 

**jinhwan:** AND MY STUPIDASS BRAIN THOUGHT IT WOULD BE 

**jinhwan:** LOGICAL IF I JUST SAID THAT JUNE WAS GETTINGHIS 

**jinhwan:** dICK SUCKED tO MAKE BOBBY JEALOUS 

 

**hanbin:** WHY

 

**jinhwan:** I PANICHED OKAY 

**jinhwan:** HOW AM I GOIGN TO FIX THIS

 

**hanbin:** you dont 

**hanbin:** because i will fucking do it

 

**jinhwan:** OH MY GOD

**jinhwan:** ILY HANBIN

 

**hanbin:** yeahyeah

**hanbin:** you owe me

 

**Author's Note:**

> hi i'm jessica
> 
> this is a shit piece of work. if you made it this far how the fuck did you do it


End file.
